Speaking The Truth In Love

"Today's Devotion" For August 12, 2005

Read: Ephesians 4:17-5:2; Psalm 119:25-32

SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ." (Eph. 4:15)

Bill's and Jane's marriage was in trouble. Bill had been a faithful and true husband and father, but after years of feeling berated and abused by his unhappy and angry wife, he had recently met another woman to whom he was attracted and he felt he needed help sorting out his feelings and dealing with his marriage. So he went to a counselor who asked him why he hadn't shared his feelings with his wife long before. Bill replied that Jane was so unhappy and so angry at everything that he didn't want to make the situation worse. Instead he just spent more time away from home, at his business, which had led to meeting this other woman.

His counselor urged him to tell Jane the truth, including his attraction to the other woman and his fear of Jane becoming angry, noting also that when she got angry she got mean, and that wasn't at all attractive to him. Bill's counselor bluntly told him that leaving his wife and two children for another woman would be both cowardly and lacking in integrity. So Bill went to Jane and told her the truth, including the situation with the other woman - whom he noted to Jane was treating him with kindness and care - and his fears about Jane’s anger and attending meanness.

To say that Jane was shocked would be an understatement. She had felt she was the only one feeling unloved in the situation. She did get angry and mean, reacting just as Bill had said she would, but he persisted in telling her that her reaction was just what he had been trying to avoid for years, and that if she wanted the truth she needed to be open to it, not run away and hide behind her anger. Because of Bill's loving persistence, Jane finally listened and they were able to finally talk honestly and openly for the first time in years. By Jane's account, she was actually relieved to hear the truth and she agreed to counseling. Interestingly enough, when they got into counseling, Bill discovered that Jane had also been afraid to be honest with him, being as afraid of his withdrawal as he was of her anger.

What Bill and Jane went through in their relationship isn't so different from what we all go through, no matter what relationships may be involved. We're afraid of the initial reaction and response of others, especially those whom we love and care about. Yet, as is often the case, the persistent, loving, and truthful sharing of concerns breaks through the initial reaction and opens the door for renewal, growth, and stronger relationships. What we have to overcome is the power of Sin to seek to destroy relationships, and the work of the devil and our own sinful flesh to look to our own interests before those of others. As St. Paul noted in his letter to the Ephesians, if we're going to speak the truth - the truth of the Gospel that is - in love, then we need to "put aside falsehood and speak truthfully" to one another in all things.

"Speaking the truth in love" doesn't just mean declaring the Good News of God's love for the world in Jesus Christ. It also means living it fully in our lives. It means bringing a heart for people into every relationship we have and speaking openly and honestly about our feelings and our concerns. It means confronting the ravages of sin head on so that sin doesn't define our relationships, but the Gospel of Christ and His forgiveness and love. It means sharing the truth about the behavior of others, especially those whom we love and who are of the "household of faith," so that they can learn and grow from knowing the truth. Certainly, even brothers and sisters in Christ will react "badly" to things they don't want to hear. None of us likes to hear about our shortcomings or our sins. At the same time, because of their relationships with Jesus and with us, "speaking the truth in love" will bring them growth and increased opportunities to live fully for Jesus. It's a ministry we all have to one another. It's hard, but it's well worth it.

Prayer: Father, You were the first to "speak the truth in love" to me and to all the world, confronting all humanity with the reality of a broken relationship with You. Your Word clearly shows me my sin as I hear Your commandments and realize that I can't possibly obey them perfectly and thus fall short of Your glory. By myself I'm a lost and condemned creature, incapable of coming to You or even knowing You. Yet, because of Your great love for me and all people, You spoke "the truth in love" through the Prophets, the Apostles, and the Evangelists, and ultimately through Christ Jesus, so that I would be brought face to face with my sin and, brought to my knees before You, seek Your forgiveness, according to Your love, so that I might be saved, renewed, and restored to You. Help me to share that same love and concern for others, especially those whom I love and care about deeply. Give me the courage and strength to "speak the truth in love" to others without fear of their response, and give me a humble heart to hear the truth spoken in love to me so that I may repent and grow as well. Hear me gracious Father, for the sake of Jesus. Amen.
*******************************************

--Pastor Boeck

Copyright @2005 Rev. Richard J. Boeck, Jr. All rights reserved.